When I boarded the train this morning there was a slight drizzle outside. When I exited the train, which marks the beginning of my 15 minute walk from Downtown Crossing to Boston's oft forgotten Fort Pointe Channel district, I was confronted by a monsoon. Or a Hurricane. Maybe a Tsunami. Regardless, it sucked. It's worth noting, I think, that it all come to a pleasant drizzling end as I walked into my office building. Despite the umbrella that Marissa donated to help keep me dry, my pants were... and remain 5 hours later... completely soaked. Solid. *

I'm a rap moron. 100% oblivious to almost all hip-hop music. Probably because I'm whiter than white and just don't get it. Or care to take the time to get it. However, everytime I've listened to Outkast I've thought to myself... "wow, this is what hip-hop should be." More to come on Outkast tomorrow or so... *

I've picked up Final Fantasy Tactics Advance one day before what could quite possibly be the most difficult mid-term of my college career. Good thinking, eh? While my studying for the mid-term has been minimal at best, I'd like to note that I've won two battles and found some fucking herb that some dude at a bar asked me to find for him. I had to kill monsters to get it. It was pretty sweet. *

But anyway.... let me talk to you about the salad bar.

I like the salad bar. Once a week I make sure that I eat lunch at the deli down the block from my office and purchase vittles only available through the self-service salad bar. Despite my reservations about items like "community potato salad" and "community feta cheese blocks" I feel that this is a healthy thing to do considering most of my home-cooked meals consist of steak and a baked potato and most of my dining out consists of hamburgers and fries. I certainly have no weight concerns to speak of, but fear of my little heart shutting down in a fit of grease drenched anger has crossed my mind from time-to-time, and my weekly salad bar trip is in direct response to that fear.

Putting together your salad at this particular establishment is quite involved. You see, the containers that they provide you are of the bowl likeness, without separate compartments for incompatible items. Anyone who knows me well certainly knows that I under no circumstance can deal with eating more than one of any type of food at once. Steak and potato? Steak first, potato second. Pasta and garlic bread? Garlic bread first, pasta second. Under no circumstances can a bite of vegetables be eaten in between bites of meat. I suppose it's a bit obsessive compulsive, but most of my life is surrounded by ridiculous obsessive compulsions, so there's nothing I can do about it but deal.

It's difficult however, in the context of the salad bar, to make this work. For instance, I really like potato salad. I also really like jalapeno peppers. I REALLY enjoy taking a bite of leafy greens drenched in ranch dressing to find a delicious spicy surprise therein. Conversely, the thought of taking a bite of potato salad and finding a hint of jalapeno-like flavoring is enough to make me nauseous. The fact that both of these items are available in the salad bar, combined with the one compartment container makes for some interesting attempts at keeping incompatible items separate.

Last week I put the potato salad on the bottom of the bowl. I then put a layer of iceberg lettuce over it and began concocting the green portion of my salad. This failed however, as most of the dressing leaked through to the bottom and left me with ranch potato salad... not very tasty. This week I added an element that I think has put me on the right track. I again put the potato salad on the bottom, feeling that my initial instinct was correct, but this time instead of a protective layer of flimsy iceberg lettuce, assembled a protective layer of croutons and those hard crackers that look like noodles. While certainly a far cry from the eureka that I had been hoping for, the dressing was mostly kept away from my salad and the only thing that managed to make its way down to the potato salad were little chopped onions, which were actually a welcome addition. My biggest problem with this, however, was the crouton and noodle wall. I had no interest in eating it since it had on one side been touched by the salad-items and on the other side been touched by the potato salad. I searched for a way to dispose of it but could not come up with anything other than the "push it to the side method" which ended up leaving me with nearly half of my potato salad layer going to waste. I would have like to scrape the infected crouton wall into the trash, but since the economy shit the bed the cleaning people only come once a week... and the idea of having potato-salad and ranch dressing crouton odor wafting up towards my nose for the rest of the week is hardly appetizing.

I'm hoping that I haven't hit a brick wall here.. and that in due time I'll be able to enjoy both a salad and potato salad together but separate, while minimizing waste. When I overcome this battle I'll be sure to relay the method to you, dear nonexistent readers. *