well that sure is interesting. carry the light, i suppose. now more than ever its time to run everything through your head. time to think.

i went and saw phil lesh on sunday evening in bethel new york. quite the experience. if one is not careful it's fairly easy to see and promote a growing cancerous hatred. for what? for each other, silly goose. soon as petey and i arrived we were witness to a "near-brawl" because some hippies had 7 tix extra and two tour rats were arguing over who got em. i guess you can tolerate hatred and intolerance if you dont know where your next meal is coming from. both looked fairly healthy, for tour rats, however.

i hate to meditate on the darkness, the growing oil based, five fingered hate puddle we all wade in everyday. but thats where my mind is at. i put out my antennae. channel, dont harbor, let it flow through you. ive been having some fun with this. the other day i was talking with someone caught in the white side of the ying yang. its all, humans are infinitely capable, bent towards good, carry the light. all, universal harmony, the shadowed side of the pitch on a 95 and humid day. its fucked. im swimming in shit im not showering tomorrow.

alls im trying to say is, why not fuck around in the black side for a bit. id argue the luxuries over here are just as comforting as what they got over there. i guess here were responsible for a little more pain, but we're in your face with it. plus you cant live without us. see that dot? where am i going.

oh, six feet under. just put down two episodes with a side of applesauce. pork. gross. ive watched this show very slowly, to take it all in. but now i see that method has me a little lost. im starting to not really understand when something dramatic happens. im missing little references. the most recent episode i watched was fairly good. carlos castaneda theme, reality in my mind and that is that.

but phil lesh. played some shit that was apparently played back in the day, same setlist whatnot. i brought a soccer ball and played with myself in petes backseat. two pluses. so many little children, staying through the whole show. in one way thats admirable, taking your little kid on tour, or just to a show. but in another way, having a kid is completely fucking insane. at least they get to have some music and unity before maturity.

well im sick as fuck and musing on trivialities. fire a fucking beam in your head now you see, right?