My own personal office space is a little desk stuck in between two other people's personal office space. Seven people, all sitting adjacent to each other, make up a row. The room in which I sit has about thirty of these rows. Here's your visual:



The folks in the row in front of me threw some of those $0.25 sticky balls that you get out of a machine at the supermarket onto the ceiling at around 12:15. It's now 1:02 and I've been staring at them slowly making their way off of the ceiling for 47 minutes.

This is awesome. --

The weather these past few days has been intoxicatingly (is that a word?) awesome. I use the word intoxicating because it more or less has the same effect on me as a bender of an evening in regards to work. "Are you kidding me? Do I really have to go?"

Although it's safe to say that it doesn't take much to find me unhappy about going to work these days. I do the same thing every day, give or take maybe one or two things. When I was told there would be a lot of variety in this job, I really didn't think it was going to be the shuffling of a few meaningless things. The only thing I do that's not machine-like is post bullshit on internet message boards, screw with my fantasy baseball team, and read as much non financial related news as possible.

But back to the weather. It's sunny but brisk. Warm enough for short sleeves, but not without getting a few goosebumps while driving around with the windows open. Throughout my entire youth this is the weather that I've associated with new beginnings. Until age 18 it was a new school year. From 18-23 it was a new apartment, a new year of college, another round of youthful idiocy with my just barely grown up best friends. Even last year, it was the start of this new job. It's a bit discouraging that this amazing weather that I associate most with driving North on the Saw Mill Parkway in New York State on my way to Boston for all kinds of new beginnings has been met this past week with a ridiculous degree of sameness. I'm waking up in the same place, getting on the same bus to sit at my same desk and do the same work and... well, you get the idea. Why the hell do we spend our entire youth looking forward to growing up again?

Despite what the above words might appear to say about my current sentiment, I'm (1) excited to potentially have a new job in the pipeline that would solve a ton of my current issues with life should it work out (I'd say it's 50/50 at this point), (2) planning a November-ish trip to London all by my lonesome. I want to wander down ancient cobblestone streets with a notepad, a camera, and a slight buzz on to try and figure out just what in the hell it is that I'm doing with my life. Makes sense, right? And (3), really getting excited about playing in my new band and writing songs. So it's not all bad, really. I just always want more no matter what... which I hope is a good thing. --

This picture sums up the part of my weekend not explained in my previous post.

I went to JCrew today to buy the comfortable plain white T-Shirts they have. After deducting the little balance from my leftover gift card I would've spent about $6. I somehow walked out of the store with $200 worth of shit and no t-shirts. *

After waking up at 1pm hungover I spent the majority of my day on my deck reading Aaron Cometbus' Double Duce, which I picked up in Baltimore three weeks ago. He's a smart motherfucker. The fact that I haven't read his stuff earlier is a goddamn fucking crime. The sun has made me tired... and even though I've only been awake for 8 hours today, I think it's time to head back to bed. I've got a big bad week of job hating in front of me.

I'm going to try to start writing here again. We'll start with baby steps, though.

My declaration of hate still stands, but I'm doing my best to avoid work at all costs at the moment and I'm out of other things to kill time with.

This is probably the first weekend all summer in which I didn't have a single hamburger. Lots of pasta, pizza. BBQ Chicken once. I think I'm going to have junk food for lunch today. I'm thinking Big Mac. I'm having hamburger withdrawal, apparently.

I felt guilty buying a new TV yesterday, on what was one of the most amazing days of weather we've had this summer here in the muggy mid-atlantic portion of the US. Sadly my hangover just couldn't stand the bright and hot sun, so I wasn't able to enjoy it quite as much as I would've liked to.

I've kicked the smokes for good and my heart is happy about it. Now it's time to to cut down on the booze. No more drinking during the week and less drinking on the weekends.

I'm going to Baltimore intwo weekends from now. That'll be fun. Maybe I'll tell you about it later if I run out of ways to kill time again. --

I've grown to hate this weblog. I've been in denial for about a year and a half regarding how much I loathe it. I am no longer in denial. I hate this weblog.

My, my... where do the days go? I waited so long for the warm weather to return, and now that it's here, it doesn't feel right. Part of me still thinks it's winter. I walk out of the Port Authority every day expecting icy blasts of wind to be rushing down 8th ave. I reach for my scarf before realizing that bitch named winter is in hibernation. My pal spring opted out this year and gave up all weather duties to summer, sans a few wonderful days last week. Summer's no bitch, but he can often be a son of a bitch when he wants to. Especially on days in which I'm not allowed to enjoy his company in a leisurely way. I digress. The point I'm making is that I rarely know what time it is. What day of the week it is... and that my brain can simultaneously believe that February seemed like yesterday and ages ago. The weeks seem to fly by after the fact, but when I'm stuck in them they feel endless. I rarely sleep. I often drink. I do lots of work during the day but probably couldn't recite what I'd done with my day come night time. Someday, I hope to catch up on sleep. Someday I'd like to take it easy and not drink as much. Someday I'd like this routine to feel normal and comfortable.. rather than temporary and miserable.

I actually had a blast this weekend. I thought I was taking cool pictures with my cell phone at the Mitsuko / Ergs! / Arcade Academy, etc. show on Saturday night.. but they turned out to be drunkenly stupid. You can see them here:
www.flickr.com/photos/christophermatthew/

Cheers.

i think its about time i started using flickr so i did.

you can access my flikr page here

Doctor Frank and Ben Weasel did it, so I figured I might as well waste a few minutes at work and put together the same type of quirky random playlist from my iPod. The jist of the game is that you alphabetize your playlist and then pick the first song for every letter. The artist that comes up most often is the "winner". I added an entry for symbols/numbers just to spice it up, but it didn't affect the outcome:

'97 - Alkaline Trio
A-List Actress - Hey Mercedes
b - Lync
C'Mere - Interpol
D4 = Putting The F Back in Art - Dillinger 4
E to W - Appleseed Cast
Fabricoh - Archers of Loaf
Gadget Arms - These Arms are Snakes
Hair ad DNA - Hot Snakes
I'll Be In The Air - The Microphones
Jackie - New Pornographers
K214 - No Knife
La La Love You - The Pixies
M 16 - Descendents
Naive - The Jealous Sound
O'No - Q and Not U
Pacific Theme - Broken Social Scene
Quality Revenge At Last - Hey Mercedes
R U Still In 2 It - Mogwai
Saccharine - Sunday's Best
T.S.R. (This Shit Rules)- Against Me!
U-Mass - The Pixies
Vague Space - Stephen Malkmus
Wait It Out - The Riverdales
X-Polynation - Q and Not U
Y Plus White Girl - Q and Not U
Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie

You'll notice that Q and Not U just barely edge out The Pixies and Hey Mercedes for the victory. Looking at their winning entries coupled with their band name makes it seem like they were almost built for this sort of game... --

Como Esta bitches?

My body physically returned from my memorial day vacation in San Diego Tuesday evening, but there's no question that my mind is still swirling with visions of palm trees, desert cliffs, california fast food joints, and if you'll allow me to be brunt: just barely not naked girls on the beach.

New York has neither palm trees nor cliffs. The fast food joints aren't really even that cheap and are no doubt rat infested... and the girls here are very much not wearing bikinis. I guess I can excuse that, it's not really acceptable to strut your stuff down 5th in a bikini... although there was that one time I saw bikini models doing that promotion in Soho...

See? I told you. The mind is a-swirling and I expect that it'll take me a few days to get it back to the norm: 100% miserable, working 9 hour days, and getting 6 hours of sleep every night.

Cell phone images are here. Digital camera photos will soon follow. **

I will spend the majority of this weekend down in my parents basement with Jimmy and Jeff recording the band's demos. We'll be recording four songs, which I hope to follow up with writing 3 or 4 more rather quickly which will enable us to learn a few covers and hopefully play a few shows thereafter.

We still don't have a name... I'll reluctantly list the two that I can ever remember being considered: The Palisades (geographically appropriate and not too shabby sounding.. although it may imply a more smoother type of sound than we actually have) and The Death of Fun (which accurately describes where the three of us are pretty sure we're at in our lives but might imply that we slaugher baby calves while performing, which is untrue). I figure that no matter what we go with I'll dislike it, feel awkward saying it out loud, etc. But you've gotta buck up sometime.. and I imagine we'll have bucked up within the next few days. --

I haven't looked at or even thought about in.circles in a few weeks. Strange that when I finally bring it up to blog on my lunch hour Paul has just recently chimed in. I hope everyone's monitor resolution is high enough that I'm not forcing his entry completely out of your screen, as his images of fire embody all of the excitement that our little (big) hometown has to offer - especially the last one in the list. **

So how are we all living? Good? Good. **

Wired News' updates for today were particularly entertaining as it reviews Episode III and gives us a tongue in cheek quick-shot about the new Sony and Microsoft consoles. In my former life I would've probably taken off from work, printed out these news bits, and rolled around in the grass naked with my printed pages rubbing against my naughtier parts while eating buffalo wings. But these days, I'm just not excited about those things. I cringe at spending $500 on the launch day of a new console, know I won't have enough time to play it anyway, and cringe yet again when thinking about the raping of my fond childhood Star Wars memories by Episodes I and II (although I will still most definitely be there on opening weekend). -- My mind's clearly in the gutter, so let me move on. **

The band! Last we spoke we had a song or two and didn't have a name. Well, now we have a song or five and still don't have a name. But there's progress!: We play tighter each and every practice and every new song seems to be a bit better than the one before it. And plans!: recording 4/5 demos the first week of June and doing our best to perform a 6 song original / 2 song cover set to actual human beings a bit later in June. I'm hopeful we'll hit both of our goals - and from the limited feedback I've gotten from the few outsiders I've given a glimpse of our tunes, pretty hopeful that at least a few people might dig 'em. **

So here's to Summer. Or Spring. Or it's almost summer but barely feels like spring. Or whatever. Here's to something. --

hey. things are good with us. i was on alps yesterday at petes and a fire broke out at the florist next to his house. there was a huge turnout. i guess all the houses in the vicinity lost power as a result and people lined the streets. weird thing was it had the feel of a parade, the whole thing. wayne churned out like all their rescue vehicles sans the 6x6, which is the swamper for the floods. i didnt get many good shots, but i got shots none-the-less. enjoy

http://img175.echo.cx/my.php?image=fire4ey.jpg
http://img130.echo.cx/my.php?image=fire21ra.jpg
http://img130.echo.cx/my.php?image=fire39jj.jpg
http://img130.echo.cx/my.php?image=fire43pi.jpg
http://img130.echo.cx/my.php?image=fire61ng.jpg

http://www.duelinfiremen.com/movies/duelinfiremen_divx.avi

Rather than re-type it and try to put it in Blog context, I'll just cut and paste my little story from Friday night exactly how I sent it to a friend via email:

" Brad and I were leaning against the bar and this 50+ year old guy with a thick (slurred) irish accent wearing a pinstriped suit came up to us and asked us if we knew how to get downstairs. The bar had no downstairs. I said "are you looking for the bathroom? That's in the back, but I don't think there's a downstairs." He mumbled a couple of other things and then walked away, so Brad and I went back to talking. Then all of a sudden he walks back over to us and starts choking Brad and I ate the same time.. one of us with each hand. Brad knocked him backwards and then all of a sudden a bartender's hand was grabbing at me yelling that I was getting thrown out. Everyone around us started telling him that we didn't do anything, so they let me go. Five minutes later another Irish guy came over to us and said "i'm sorry about my friend... he's been drinking since 6 o'clock and is pretty drunk. he's fought in three wars.. He's also a delegate (or maybe he said diplomat) in the UN... so if they let him back in here - which they will - you might just want to stay out of his way."

He actually did come back in. But he didn't even remember what happened. And I was having too much fun at that point to care. "

Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction... --

Just about every credible video game news outlet has been running pieces in the same vein as this slashdot thread these past few months. To be honest, I think it's absurd to think that the entire games indsutry is doomed to games with cadrillion dollar budgets, celebrity voice overs, and the same ole same ole just because historically new hardware and the eye candy that comes with it has been the primary growth driver. It seems like a no brainer to me, really... wait it out folks. It's still a young industry in terms of traditional arts/entertainment. There will be people demanding innovation and there will be innovative people meeeting that demand.

For every lame summer blockbuster there's a film like Sideways. For every Britney Spears there's a Stephen Malkmus. I expect the games industry to follow suit... eventually. **

Ranch 1 really is the greatest grilled chicken on earth. Well, at least if by Earth they mean the fast food industry.... regardless, delicious. --

I went to Boston last weekend. Aside from one very quick trip up there a few months back it's the first time I've spent a significant amount of time there in awhile. Towards the end of my time there as a student I was starting to become irritated with it and became incredibly excited to head back home. While I'm content here living in Jersey and working in New York for now, there's no question that I've grown to feel more comfortable in Boston than where I grew up. **

I downloaded the new Nine Inch Nails album, [With_Teeth] to listen to on the ride up there and I'm not so sure I was very pleased with what I heard. Perhaps it was the fact that it was pouring rain while I was listening and I was focusing on the road... or the fact that I was listening to it via my fuzzy iTrip... but it just sounded a bit thin to me.

I'll give it a shot with headphones during my commute home from work today, but in all likelihood I'll be passed out by the end of the first track due to my combined 8 hours of sleep for the entire goddamned weekend. I'm reaching new heights (or depths) in tiredness. For real, this shit is avant-garde. --

According to this article, if you're happy, you're healthy. It later offers up religion as its sole source of scientifically verifiable happiness, while (correctly) indicating that other sources of happiness are unique from person to person and far more elusive. So unless you're prepared to take the plunge into the land of naivety and insanity... the world at large best be prepared to find happiness in a much tougher way, or face the consequences of our unhappy bodies. **

Found a leaked copy of the new Stephen Malkmus album last night.. and I'm pretty darn happy with what I've heard so far. I was dozing in and out of sleep while listening this morning, but I heard the first and ninth tracks in their entireties and couldn't help but be reminded of older Pavement stuff. Pig Lib never did much for me, so it's nice to be pleasantly surprised with Face The Truth. --

Too much booze, too little sleep, and too much coffee has made my heart skittish. And I don't mean in a metaphorical way in which I'm using the word heart to describe the status of my personal life or even mental well being. I mean the beating thing in my chest that makes the blood course through my veins and whatnot. I've always had a slightly irregular heartbeat... but these past few weeks it's gotten a bit creepy. If you listen closely the shit sounds like some experimental trip-hop beat or something. I think I'll try to get more sleep. And maybe drink less coffee. Maybe. **

Been listening to the new Despistado a lot. Not great, but pretty damn good.

Rented Sideways last night. Very good except for the fact that midway through my Playstation 2 decided to stop working... leading me to tinker with wires for about 30 minutes before it inexplicably started playing again. Whatever. Saw Sin City Friday night. The white blood looks like cool whip and I love cool whip. Even the low-fat kind.

A few days late on this one, but I'd have to agree with this chick's review of the song "The Engine Driver" off The Decemberist's Picaresque. It harkens back to the days when people were pegging The D's as being the next Neutral Milk Hotel and shows how moving they could be if they downplayed the showmanship just the teeniest bit. I think Picaresque is a huge step in the right direction, way moreso than Her Majesty was and hope that this tune is a sign of things to come. **

Similar to just about every NY Post sports columnist... I think anyone that took to their feet and saw fit to boo Mariano Rivera yesterday should seriously re-evaluate their lives. It was game three of the first series of the season! It's essentially worthless in almost every regard other than in fueling the overhyped "rivalry"! And you do what? Boo the man that you owe just about all of your Yankee pride to over the past ten years? He's 35! He just got over Bursitis! You should die! Seriously.

Seiously, it's the fucking weather, man. It's very apparent that it's not just something I like to say to cheer myself up anymore.

There was this obsessive compulsive rich kid that lived down the hall from me my freshman year of college that used to have this weird-ass fluorescent light fixture at the foot of his bed. He'd stare into the fucking thing for 15 minutes every morning because he claimed to have some crazy condition in which lack of sunlight made him severely depressed. But he was so petrified of cancer that he had to avoid the real sun at all costs. He wore lots of black and was as pale as a goddamned vampire. At any rate, I never took him or his condition seriously.. because it was way more fun to tell him you had just finished whacking off and watch him cower away from you anytime your hands came within three feet of him.. but maybe there's more to it. It just can't be a coincidence anymore. **

May I cut in?

We need a band name. Not immediately, but sooner rather than later. I think it will help me envision the band we have going on being an actual thing that actually exists in time and space instead of this sorta non-designatable "thing" that "we've got going on". We've started out slow just kicking around a few songs... but last week things really started to solidify. I think we all compliment each other well and can create some pretty cool sounding stuff together. I know I should've learned by now to shut the fuck up about something when I get excited about it, as my words have pretty always come back to bite me in the ass... but I'm thinking that this is something beyond that. Something that's been slowly taking shape in my head for years that I'm not willing to fuck up. Most of the things that end up biting me in the ass are passing type things anyway, this is something that's been stewing inside me since I was a kid. And I'm happy to be doing it with the people I'm doing it with. **

These past few years my winter's have been incredibly cold. Filled with lots of bitterness and a lot of lousy things happening to me. Thankfully, these winters have historically been followed by warm springs with all of the wrongs becoming rights and all of the lousiness turning into luck and well being. I'm starting to think that the tides have turned, but that this time it's for the worst. It's just in the air... something I can feel. I hope that I'm wrong.. because I know the more I believe it the more that my own lousy self-fulfilling prophecy will kick into effect. So if you see me in a rut... Buy me a beer. Tell me to get over myself. It'll help, I promise.