to take anything seriously is to give life the handicap, do not let it know you are weak. --i guess this is a failed email or a meditation on garbage bags... i received it as a piece of spam at an odd hour, so why not share.... enjoy

the ones who truly aspire are those who give up the struggle of the hunt. the lust for discovery. those who never experience the extent of their own understanding. this occult is unintentionally concerned with anything overtly worldly, it harbors a selfishness intent on embracing mediocrity through the blind acceptance of ideals they perceive as too difficult to meditate upon and unusually comfortable enough to arouse suspicion. however, many will refuse to believe that a conscious repression of such base (yet oddly human) impulses leads to a subconscious (or sometimes conscious) manifestation of said function masquerading as inebriation or a sober clarity so seemingly removed from whomever divined the emotions that it must be extraordinaly fantastic.

true moments of inspiration may occur when events outside the mind's realm of understanding lead to bitter self assessment. this sort of scrutiny holds your hand on a tour through a largely negative and unknowingly impulsive state of mind which must be understood for what it is before taken seriously. the demon is born when the spirit is weak, asserting its heaviest influence during the heat of the moment, when the mind is either exhausted, depraved, or despairing. it freely choreographs the present state of mind to perceive all life through a lens at once genuine and passionately bitter. to get lost in the emotions of a single incident in time (to hold your own thoughts in such regard you eventually become defensive of them, and possibly conceal them) is to foolishly, selfishly, and ignorantly render your being as an entity permanent and super-natural in a world that endlessly fails to learn that time inevitably renders us all fools. some are prone to believing this is permanent, unwavering and accurate. (which is more often than not the sad sappy truth) as is usually the case however, the mind fixes such inverse spikes of personal orientation through means hardly recognizable. (satiation from consumption, fornication, rest, expulsion, bouts of harmless mania, and mindless indulgence... in essence, the symbols encountered in everyday life designed to inspire comfort, relief and respite) this all being the result of cancerous, pseudo-communal practices which subconsciously decieve (through half baked media exposure) the populous into understanding that we live in a world of excess. one who does not -have- will/can/and has survived on the sympathy of others.


yo

i guess we didnt finish our conversation or i just feel like talking more.

in terms of whatever it is i have going now, for the interested, it is not easy on the mind but it is not altogether something terrible. all it took was like a half-relationship and a couple nites out at bars to realize how things generally are. id like to say i am beyond those observations and "an exception to the rule" but that would most likely be false.

i guess first of all, over anything anyone has said or will say, i hold the self in the highest regard. i passionately urge myself to believe that when one filters out what is imposed on them by society and focuses on what they quintessentially are they will wake up to this foolish charade we all contribute to. i guess if i establish some base beliefs in something, non-belief maybe, i have some sort of foundation to stand on.

i dont know

i receive testimony from good amount of people who chat recklessly about their situations. as it appears, being in your mid to late twenties in this century, or year is a great burden. as a human, you come to understand certain things about yourself, recognize these things in others, and develop a complex ripe with disillusion.

i was told its impossible to remember everything one knows at a singular moment in time. say, perhaps, you are one of many of lifes great anomalies and you do have this ability. how cursed. every observation, experience and thought you ever had closing in on you and living off you every moment, creating from silly behavior all you do think say and feel. this in mind, why do the masses find peace of mind through eager commitment to emotions which are fundamentally uncertain. parallels exposed regarding life and the strict "grassroots" nature of change are prominent there there and there.

everything is null. is that agnostic? what does that imply. more specifically the stuff above, trash.